


From Your Dearest Berwald

by unevenstar



Series: Hetalia Drabbles 2020 [3]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, F/M, Love and Loss, Nostalgia, a letter, angsty i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unevenstar/pseuds/unevenstar
Summary: A true-from-the heart letter written from Berwald to his wife of many decades, Tuli, reflecting upon their relationship and where it will go. (Written early March, 2020)
Relationships: Female Finland/Sweden (Hetalia)
Series: Hetalia Drabbles 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997740
Kudos: 11





	From Your Dearest Berwald

Dear Tuli,

When we were twenty-five years old, I took you back to your hometown. We had been each other’s for seven years, and had known each other for even longer. You showed me the wonders of your city, the people you knew by name the children you greeted that had grown up since the last time you had seen them. You laughed as you all exchanged memories, and when you introduced me to them, I tried my best with my language abilities to talk; it wasn’t as smooth as we had planned, but I hope it still meant something to you.

Then, I got down on one knee and said that I loved you, very, very much. The children stifled a few gasps. You, being the Tuli I love and cherish, was only confused and copied what I did. I remember how you looked at that very moment with such incredible detail - Cheeks flushed from the cold winter air, a face surrounded by black fuzzy earmuffs, and a white cashmere scarf wrapped around your neck in a double loop. Your eyes were shining brighter than any star in the universe. Then, as the children gathered about us and as you began to realize, I revealed the velvety ring box.

For many solid, silent moments that felt like eternity, it was us. It was us and our future. But as I opened the box, your tears began to spill. What came next was a blur - You getting up from your kneel and covering your face because of all the tears, (well...I assumed them to be happy ones). My life was complete when you said you were the luckiest woman in the world. You pulled me to my feet and wrapped me in the tightest embrace. After, you snatched the ring from its cushion and slipped it onto your finger, crying out, “Yes, yes, yes, forever and forever.” 

I didn’t get to propose. There was no “Will you marry me, Tuli?” because you stole the words out of my mouth. Every day I’ve seen you, you do that for me, saving the little effort from a person like me. You know me like I know the back of my hand.

Even when we’re old, the diamond ring is still on your finger. Even when the epidural drips so impatiently, we know. The love of truth we have had finally betrayed us. The doctors called that betrayal “cancer”, saying you only had eight months left to live. You squeezed my hand so tightly and for so long I thought you’d never let go, pressing your empty hand to my cheek before asking if this was all real. I didn't want it to be real. I didn't want to tell you because I couldn't bear it myself.

Your hair fell off two weeks later, those glittering rays of sunshine that I kissed every morning. You spent so much time in the bathroom I feared you’d never come out. I spent nights at the hospital as close to you as I could, and when you woke up, but my time was all yours. You were weak and tired, loathing your body and your disease...but you did the best you could.

Because to me you are the same girl I stared at in Tallinn, the one who pinched my nose and ran off with my own flowers. I continue to see my all in you. Tuli. My sweet Tuli. Why did this have to affect a spirit like yours?


End file.
